I’m finally sitting down to complete part II of my blog about the UFE Spring Bash fitness competition I participated in. Since my last post, I’ve been keeping active and making fitness a part of my every day life. It’s much more enjoyable now that I don’t HAVE to work out, and I can do it at a more relaxed pace and not so ‘balls to the walls’ as my trainer put it. Most days I have been outside walking since the weather has been absolutely beautiful! Hemi and I usually walk around 5km, but have gone up to just shy of 10km. My knee doesn’t get too aggravated by long walks; I get to enjoy the peace, quiet and sunshine; I feel energized; Hemi gets nice and tuckered out. Living in the sticks has it’s benefits as there’s rarely any cars passing by on our walking route. I’ve also been cooking up healthy meals, snacks and desserts like crazy and tweaking my protein shakes. Speaking of food, I’ll move on to the rundown of my post show experience.

We didn’t get out of the venue until approximately 11pm, so our original dinner idea of hitting up the Five Guys in Mississauga was out the window since they had closed at 10. I put out a plea for good eating ideas to my Toronto friends on Twitter, and heard back that the Lakeview Restaurant was excellent and open all night. Another one of my friends from TO had previously mentioned that same place, so we decided we’d make the 20 minute drive over to Dundas Street to eat there. We aren’t too savvy with the ways of Toronto, so when we saw an open parking spot on the street, we jumped on it thinking there might not be anywhere closer to park. Well, after parking and starting to walk to the restaurant, Brendan realized we were 0.7 km away from the place… and we kept walking by more parking spots! Oh well, we were committed at that point so we kept on truckin’. Keep in mind I was wearing flip flops and still had my bikini on with just yoga pants and a thin zip up hoodie over it – and it was COLD! I figured since I was about to eat my face off, the walk would do me no harm.

The Lakeview had a super cool atmosphere. It was very dimly lit (as you’ll see in my DARK photos!) and the decor looked unchanged since the place opened in 1932. Everyone eating and working there was very hip and stylish, without looking like they were trying to do so… I guess it’s a Toronto thing. Being from the boonies I always feel out of place among people that actually have a sense of style! Bren and I parked ourselves in a booth and checked out the late night menu. I originally had a craving for French Toast, but it wasn’t on the menu so I went with the next best thing for a starved competitor – a cheeseburger and onion rings. When our food arrived, I got Bren to take a picture of me with my plate in my bikini.

Fitness meets fatness.

What ensued once I bit into my burger can only be described as unbridled food ecstasy. It was pure bliss. I can’t even describe how good my burger tasted after 3.5 months of not having one! I honestly ate most of my meal with my eyes closed, in sheer delight. My cheeseburger was a little piece of heaven on earth, and the onion rings were right on that same level. Now, I ate the hell out of that cheeseburger and polished off my onion rings as well. Plus, I had a couple bites of Brendan’s amazing poutine that came with his burger. He was amazed that I had managed to finish my meal in it’s entirety, and I was kind of surprised myself. He claimed he was completely stuffed but me… no. I needed something sweet to finish off my post show gorge.

Filled with burger and disbelief that I finished it all.

When the waiter came around to inquire if we wanted dessert, I was all over it. The options were relayed to me and I just about died when I heard that deep fried Reece’s Peanut Butter cups served with ice cream could be put in front of me. Obviously I ordered it. When it arrived, I gave Brendan one bite and I ate the rest of it. I’m not sure that I actually breathed at all during the chow down. MY GOD. I may have a slightly warped perception of how good the food really was, but for me, it was utterly incredible. I would eat there again in a heartbeat (after spending a day on the treadmill to prepare, of course). Brendan agreed that it was damn good food, which I think validates my opinion of the place. If you ever get a chance to eat at the Lakeview, do it. Don’t think about it. DO IT. Since my gut was crammed with the most decadent foods imaginable, Brendan was a total sweetheart and walked to the car by himself while I slipped into a food coma waited for him to pick me up. Back at the hotel, I slept like a baby once my fullness-induced rib cramp subsided.

A glorious sleep-in brought us into Sunday. We packed up the hotel room and prepared ourselves to head out for a day on the town in Toronto. Checkout time was noon, which was glorious! After leaving the hotel behind, we decided lunch was definitely in order. Something delicious that we wouldn’t be able to get at home. As we drove around, we kept our eyes peeled for something different… and then we spotted it. Popeye’s Louisiana Chicken (feel free to judge me here, I don’t even blame you). We had only eaten Popeye’s once before, and that was on our road trip to Tennessee last summer. It was delicious then, and it certainly did not disappoint this time around either.  I had garlic butter shrimp, onion rings yet again, and a biscuit. It was a deep fried, carb loaded, greasy feast. And I loved every second of it! KFC should be put out of it’s misery by this place. Seriously. We left happy and stuffed and continued on with our day.

I had originally planned on an afternoon of shopping in Chinatown, but when I mentioned those plans to my Chinese esthetician, she insisted I check out Pacific Mall and Market Village instead, claiming it was way better! Whaaaaat? There’s a shopping experience better than Chinatown? Somebody stop the presses. When a Chinese woman gives you advice about shopping that specific retail niche, you listen. And listen I did. We arrived at Pacific Mall to be greeted by the most hellacious parking situation of all time. Cars would follow anyone walking in hopes of scoring a parking spot, like hyenas ready to descend on a carcass. There were NO spots available anywhere, and apparently this was the only way to get one. Wait, follow, be aggressive, lose your mind in the process. After about 10 highly frustrating minutes of this madness, Brendan let me out and said he’d meet me inside. I don’t think I saw him again for almost a half an hour.

Besides the brutal parking set up, Pacific Mall was an amazing shopping experience. I was hoping to find a cool bootleg handbag of some kind (horrible, I know, but a woman has needs) but I didn’t end up seeing anything I absolutely loved. We shopped around for a couple few hours and I did end up purchasing a fox tail for my current purse. I’m sorry to all the anti-fur folk out there, but I’ve wanted one for ages so I finally broke down and bought one.

This bit by Russel Peters about the Pacific Mall sums up my experience.

We had dinner reservations for 5:00pm at Barberians Steakhouse, but had a little time to kill between shopping and that so we met up with a friend for a couple drinks. Finding a bar that was open on Easter Sunday was a bit of a chore, so we ended up at a Chinese restaurant having beers and a double Baileys on the rocks for me. Sweet, delicious Baileys – how I missed thee. Time flew by and before we knew it, we had to head out to make our dinner reservations on time. We arrived at Barberians fashionably late after confusing Elm Street with Elm Avenue or something similar! Luckily it wasn’t busy, so it was no big deal. We got settled in, tucked away in a back corner of the dimly lit restaurant. A 24 ounce rib steak, garlic mashed potatoes, mushrooms and a side of onion rings made up our dinner order. And yes, I promise this third instance of onion rings finally got that craving out of my system!

The main event.



These onion rings were amazing to say the least!

We split up everything and ate like it was going out of style. The food there was top notch, and I would definitely say it’s the best steakhouse… anywhere. Some places have come close, but none top Barberians. This was yet another meal that I ate a solid portion of with my eyes closed, in food ecstasy yet again. It certainly capped off my post-show bender quite nicely, and we left Toronto with bellies full of sinfully good red meat. I probably shouldn’t mention that when we hit the Dutton Service Centre on the way home that we split a 10 pack of TimBits, but what the hell. After the months of hardcore dieting and training, I felt I was allowed to go a little bit crazy with the junk food, so I did! And I loved every minute of it.

I was happy to sleep in my own bed that night, with Hemi back at home and life finally getting back to normal. That normalcy was all I had been wanting for a long time, and it was finally back. I was relieved… happy… content. Back at peace with myself and life in general. The competition was an amazing experience but it was also unbelievably stressful and had many trying moments. Somehow, I managed to make it through and came out with a greater appreciation and understanding of fitness, and some new ambitions and goals in life. I don’t want to say too much at this point, but I do have some fitness related goals that I’m working on bringing to fruition… I just need to keep the fire lit under myself!

If I could do this, I can do whatever else I set my mind to from here on out.

Cheers,

~Mere

I am still having a bit of a hard time wrapping my mind around the blur that was this past weekend. The days all seemed to go by in a flash, making our 3 days in Toronto feel like 24 hours. We had an incredible time though, and I actually walked out on stage at the UFE Spring Bash fitness competition. I really did it. For me, this was such a huge accomplishment on many levels. First and foremost, as the final step in my accident/injury recovery. Secondly,  because I’m notorious for starting things and not finishing them. Third, because I’ve always been a wee bit of a pudgy chick – I adore food! And finally, because I always thought of myself as lazy and I managed to apply myself to this endeavor with passion and tenacity.

The Weekend.

I worked on the Thursday and finished my shift at 5:15pm. As soon as I was out of there, I started the mad rush to run the massive list of errands I needed to get done before I could head home. I had to borrow a dress for athlete registration, find a strapless bra to wear under it and a necklace/earrings to match; buy a diuretic from GNC; buy good shampoo/conditioner from the beauty supply store, as well as a nice belly ring to match my suit; pick up the last bit of food at the grocery store for final meal prep AND squeeze in a tan. The grocery store was ape shit insane because everyone was buying for Easter. I finally made it home around 9pm, at which point I started the massive amount of laundry needing to be done while I worked on prepping my meals to eat on Friday in Toronto.

Plain rice, boiled/broiled chicken breast & broiled asparagus with garlic.

Finally around 1:30am, with most of my things packed and organized and my meals prepped, I decided I should seriously consider getting some sleep. I made myself an itinerary to follow on Friday to ensure we made it out the door for noon to head up to Toronto. Bren and I exist in some sort of alternate time zone and we are always late so sticking to my schedule was key. I got up at 7:00am on Friday and finished packing, dropped the dog off with my parents, and got myself ready to rock. Amazingly, we actually got in the car at noon as we had planned. For us, this was monumental. In fact, we made it to our hotel in Mississauga ahead of schedule! I took a few minutes to unpack and organize the room, then I hit the shower and got dolled up for athlete registration.

Coach Emily Stirling told us to look glam instead of ‘bummy competitor’ in sweats.

Athlete registration started at 6pm and consisted of filling out some release forms, standing in a line for 1.5 hours or so, handing in the forms, answering a few quick questions, receiving our competitor number and a UFE goody bag. My heels were not forgiving for that nearly 2 hours of standing, but it was good practice for the next day right? It was at the athlete registration that I broke the news to Emily, my coach, that I was not getting a spray tan, and I was going to rock my current skin tone (which was the tan I’d been working on since February, but not overly dark). She looked shocked and I felt like she was a little disappointed in my decision. She informed me that I would stick out like a sore thumb against my fellow competitors but I was okay with that.

Why didn’t I get a spray tan? Well, in the last couple years my skin has turned super sensitive to makeup, lotion, soaps, you name it. I’ve had several incidents where I’ve ended up in the emergency room with my eyes nearly swollen shut from different brands of makeup. The last time involved 10 days on Prednisone and I really, REALLY didn’t feel that coating myself in that tanning stuff was worth the risk. I spent over 3 months preparing for this event (not to mention the copious amounts of money I invested) and like hell I’d have some allergic reaction put me in the hospital when I should have been on stage. I am a unique individual and rocking my natural tan amongst the super dark competitors was fine by me. Pasty bitch what whaaaaat!

After wrapping things up at the registration, Bren and I headed back to the hotel to just relax and wind down for the night. We were both lacking sleep and feeling the weight of all the day’s rushing on our shoulders. Luckily for us, the hotel we booked turned out to be super nice. It was modern, clean, spacious and quiet. Perfect for us weary travelers! Back in the room, I ate my prepped dinner and checked out my show goodies while Bren ordered a pizza and beer from the hotel’s restaurant. It smelled frigging heavenly.

I actually got a ladies t-shirt! Yay!

Bedtime came around 10:30pm on Friday, and my alarm went on way too soon thereafter at 6:30am. I woke up that Saturday and took 4 gigantic horse pills diuretics with spoonfuls of peanut butter. I had my last allowed water on Friday at 2:00pm, so any pills had to be taken this way. It was actually easier than I expected and I got the pills in to me. I have never gone a terribly long time without drinking before this show. Thinking about it, I guess the only time I’ve been deprived of water for any length of time was before my surgery (the day of my accident). That was approximately a 12 hour span, but I could have ice chips and get a tiny bit of liquid that way. On show day, there was ZERO liquid allowed. What most people don’t realize is that to get the look of super-defined muscles that you see in fitness competitions, competitors must dehydrate so that the skin ‘tightens up’ to your muscles and shows off that definition without a layer of water in between. Crazy but damn does it produce some stunning results!

We left the hotel around 8:40am on Saturday to head to the UFE Spring Bash venue, which was in Port Credit. I met up with the other girls from Team Stirling who were also coached by Emily. We soon found ourselves in the locker room putting on our suits, shoes, jewelry, hair extensions, makeup, lotion and lord knows what else. It was a rush to make it out of the locker room to the mandatory competitor meeting down the hall at 9:30am. At the meeting, Sean Everingham, President of the UFE, welcomed us all and went over the rules and flow of the event. It was brief and conveyed what we needed to know before we rushed off again to the locker room to vye for mirror space and put ourselves together. The morning portion of the show, where the prejudging took place, was starting at 10:00am and my division wasn’t too far in on the lineup.

Snapped a quick mirror picture in the locker room!

Once I was satisfied that I looked about as good as I was going to get, and my bikini bottoms had been glued to me (haha!), I headed to the ‘backstage’ area where we were instructed to wait until being called to line up and go out on stage. All the other competitors were so DARK! I knew I was really going to stand out beside them but I wasn’t too worried about it. The whole reason I decided to compete in this event was for me, for my recovery, for my own personal growth. It was never about winning or placing or proving myself to anyone else. As I was waiting to be called for my lineup, I tried my best to maintain an overall calmness and I did a pretty good job, which I was proud of. I knew there was no good in being a jittery mess so I kept my cool and waited patiently. I took in all the beautiful suits that the girls had, and the amazing physiques that were all around me! Finally, the time came to line up. “715….716….717…” I was 717. There were 29 girls competing in my division, which was bikini. We stood in the lineup for a minute or two, and were then ushered to side of the main stage where we waited to be called.

This is where I did start to get nervous! When we were called, we walked out on stage and walked across to a point on the far side; posed; walked to a point at the opposite side; posed; walked to the center; posed; walked to the back and joined the lineup. “From Merlin, number 717 Meredith MacDonald!” AH! It was my turn! I stepped out from the side of the stage and into the spotlights. Oh. My. God. I was really doing this. It was pretty much a blur, but I remembered to hold my poses for a 3 second count so that the photographer could get good pictures (since I paid for stage photos)! I hit my marks, did my poses, managed to not trip and make an ass of myself, and somehow got through the entire routine without looking like a fool. When we finally walked back off stage, I was so amazed that it had actually happened! My adrenaline was flowing and my heart was pounding! I did it…

From the morning show, a photo Brendan took.

This photo was taken by Bruce Templeton, the official UFE Event Photographer.

Ho-layyyy crap! I felt so relieved that it was done! I met up with Brendan shortly after I came off the stage and we decided to go back to the hotel so I could rest until the evening show. My knee was killing me from the heels I’d been wearing, and I was feeling a little weak and tired due to only having eaten some peanut butter that morning. Back at the hotel, I crashed out on the bed and slept a couple hours while doing my best not to disturb my hair or makeup. At least I didn’t have a spray tan to worry about! I got up around 4:00pm, ate some more spoonfuls of peanut butter and fixed myself up. We arrived back at the show venue around 5:00pm and the place was already packed. The evening show started at 6:00pm and tickets were sold out. I was feeling a lot more confident this time around since I’d already done the stage walk in the morning, which was great. It was nice to have the show divided in two parts just for that reason! I came back knowing exactly what to expect and I felt good.

There was another athlete meeting at 5:30, then the main event got underway at 6:00. Once again my division was pretty early on in the lineup so I found myself at the side of that stage before I knew it. This time, we only had to hit one mark on the stage and pose once before lining up. Sweet! It was quick, fun, and easy. I was electrified by the crowd. There was so much energy in the room it was unreal. I found out after that there wasn’t even any more standing room! The house was absolutely packed. After finishing my second time on stage, I had to wait until the end to go back out for awards. I just chilled in the ‘backstage’ area and chatted with some of the other girls who were competing. Everyone was super friendly, warm, and easy to talk to. I didn’t end up back on stage until almost 11pm for the awards. Of course I didn’t place, in fact I didn’t even come remotely close – but as I said I never cared about that. I was just damn happy to be on that stage among fitness competitors. Me! With them! Once again, I was just amazed that I did it.

Best part of being done the evening show? I got to have WATER! Amazing moment!

The show was an incredible experience. Once again, sort of a blur. It was all so surreal and seemed to happen so fast. Sean Everingham, the UFE President, was so friendly and welcoming… as were the competitors. I was blown away by the atmosphere of the entire event… no cliques, no snobs, no one badmouthing anyone else. It was just support and positive energy. Amazing. On my journey to this show I lost over 15lbs, gained strength and muscle definition that I’ve never had, and found a determination and passion within myself I didn’t know existed. I’ve learned how to live and maintain a healthier and more active lifestyle and how to find some balance in the battle of good and bad foods. I have learned, I have grown, I have transformed. It’s just onward and upward from here on out…

I will end things here as this blog post has taken me a sold 2 hours to put together! I will write another post ASAP about my ‘post show’ experience, which was equally fun! And it involved red meat. Delicious red meat… Mmm. Thanks for reading this epic post and check back soon for part II!

Cheers,

~Mere

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, follow my water and workout protocol. Friday head to Toronto, register for the show. Saturday, show day!

We booked our hotel and I had my last posing session on Saturday morning with Emily and the girls. I still need to keep tanning, buy new makeup, book an appointment to have a manicure and pedicure done… who knows what else. I had my hair highlighted on Saturday after posing, so I’m back to a nice light blond. Just how I like it. Yesterday I started my water protocol, which involved drinking 7L of water over the day. From 8am to 11pm I had one 500ml bottle of water per hour. I had no idea just how challenging something so ‘simple’ would be! Today, the challenge continues with 8L. I’m currently working on my sixth bottle of water for the morning and feeling like I may float away at any moment… thankfully I have today off work, but tomorrow I’m working 8 hours and doing another 8L day! Grrrrreat. In hindsight, I wish I had booked this whole week off work but I’m just going to have to power through.

I’m spending a lot of time contemplating what life after this show is going to be like. I’ve lost over 15lbs since beginning the competition regime in late December. I know that the weight I see on show day won’t be realistic or maintainable for me, but it’s still going to be difficult seeing the scale go back up afterward. I feel like I’d be happy around 125lbs and I think I’ll aim for that as my goal weight to maintain after everything wraps up. I know I’m too obsessed with the scale numbers and I need to relax on that! But of course it’s easier said than done. I’m really, really looking forward to cooking healthy recipes and bringing fruit and Greek yogurt smoothies back into my life. I’m planning to implement lots of clean eating and try to figure out a suitable amount of indulgences to keep me sane. One day per week of ‘bad’ food? One splurge meal? One epic dessert? It all boggles my mind a little bit that’s for sure.

My post show meal has also been something I’m giving lots of thought to. Since we’ll be in Toronto, I’m pretty sure we’ve decided to eat at Barberians (check out their website here) and I’m going to get a salad and split a steak with Bren.  We’ve only eaten there once before, but it was absolutely freaking amazing. Definitely one of the best dining experiences we’ve ever had and I’m stoked about going again! I’m also pretty damn excited about eating red meat after months of going without. I’ve been thinking about a sugary thing to eat, but I’m having a really hard time telling myself that it will be okay to have something indulgent! My brain has been programmed to recoil in horror at the thought of sugar (which is really a good thing, but…) so thinking about eating a DQ Reece’s PB Cup blizzard is kind of killing me. I want one, but I hate the thought of eating it! Gah. I keep telling myself a snack size blizzard will be fine. Stupid brain.

The sixth bottle of water just went back on the desk empty. I need to pee. I kind of feel like my eyes may pop out of my head at any minute. Such a strange feeling! I’m off to pee for the 234987658374th time today. Wish me luck in this final week, I think I’m going to need it.

Cheers,

~Mere

A picture from our posing session on March 31st.. I was tired as hell so I wore glasses to hide my eyes!

Coach Emily snapped an Instagram mirror pic of me holding my side pose

Gorgeous flowers & a hilarious card from my incredible husband, and a cute sheep from my awesome manager!

A batch of Jamie Eason turkey meatloaf muffins ready for the freezer. Y-U-M. Can’t eat ‘em this week though!

Hemi enjoying a ditch swim in the nice weather. Love our pupper.

I heard this song the other day on Sirius/XM BPM, the dance channel. It made me perk up and listen because it’s got to have the most vulgar lyrics of all time, but delivered impeccably and with the catchiest beat imaginable. This girl has some serious skills. Just felt I should infect other brains with this song. You’re welcome?

According to my countdown app, I have 16 days until I’m on stage at UFE Spring Bash. I had a total meltdown on… Monday night I think it was? But I’m back on track and focused. I was just overwhelmed with a feeling of “I’m going to fail, I’m not doing well enough” and all kinds of self doubt, combined with other non show related stress. My husband pulled me through it and said the best thing ever that cut through all the bullshit in my head – “Babe, you’ve already won. Look in the mirror.” What a man. I have no clue what I would do without him by my side.

Tomorrow it’s spring cleaning day 2, cardio, tanning and a closing shift. It looks like the weather will be nice again tomorrow; maybe the dog will get lucky and I’ll include a walk with her in my plans. I’m off to lay in bed and play stupid addictive Bejeweled for a little bit and then hit the hay. I wish I was more interesting tonight but it’s just not happening!

Cheers,

~Mere <3

In 30 days I will be strapping on my clear heels, my wicked show bikini, and taking the stage at the UFE Spring Bash in Mississauga. It’s hard to believe I’ve been preparing for this since December 18th. Back when my countdown was in the 100′s it didn’t feel like I’d ever get to this point. I’m notorious for starting things with great enthusiasm, but not so great at actually finishing and seeing things through. Definitely a weakness for me, so the fact that I’m sitting at 30 days out is a source of pride for me. I’ve had a handful of downright shameful eating days along the way, but for the last month solid I’ve been on point. I fully intend to keep it that way, and bring my best body EVER to this show!

My bikini finally arrived from Waterbabies, and it is unbelievable! I’ve definitely never owned anything like it! It’s bright, it’s got bling, and a mirror shine. I think it’s going to turn some heads on show day! I’m also starting to get a bit of a tan, which is wonderful. The tanning seems to be helping my stupid horrible acne out a bit too, which I was keeping my fingers crossed for. My face isn’t completely cleared up, but I’d say it’s about 75% better than a couple months back. I’m grateful for any improvement in that area. I hate looking like a teenager (except in highschool my skin was actually better, since I’d been on Accutane!). My coach Emily Stirling took my measurements and body fat calculations today, all of which were down a nice amount. I’m getting there.

I’m going to be so relieved when this month is done. Work is crazy, this diet is hardcore, and my workouts are pushing me to my limits. I’m going to be taking a key at work and that thought alone has me pretty freaked out! So many new things to remember and more responsibility. I’ve been over thinking it and stressing myself out about it since I found out, and it’s just piling on with everything else. I wish I could just tell my mind to shut up about it and stop worrying, but it’s not that easy. 30 days to get through! Just 30!! And then maybe life will go back to normal? I’m just going to keep telling myself that. 30 days to a way less stressed, way less bitchy Meredith. A happier and more relaxed version. Back to the original.

In an hour I’m heading out the door to work. My dinner tonight is a salad with red peppers, cucumbers, purple cabbage, baby spinach and lettuce. I cooked a chicken breast in grapeseed oil, cut it all up and shook it in Frank’s Buffalo Wing sauce. That stuff is a God send! It’s calorie free, carb free and frigging delicious. I always pack my meat and salad separately, so I can heat my chicken and add it to my salad later on and not wilt my greens. Gotta think ahead with this diet! Thankfully I’m only doing a 4 hour shift tonight, then I’m hitting the gym for the cardio I couldn’t bring myself to do today after my workout with my trainer! Between the wanting to vomit / cry there was zero motivation to get on a treadmill… 30 more days! Just 30.

On a happy note, my dad sent me a text today asking if I was free on Saturday to go antiquing. Luckily I am, so that’s what I’ll be doing. Spending a day with my amazing, tolerant, sexy husband <3 and my supportive and totally kickass parents. Just that thought alone will get me through until Saturday. Oh, and another great thing? I worked a 12 hour shift at work this week to help cover some sick calls so I get to leave work early tomorrow. Score! Hell effing yes. Well, I better go put on my uniform and get ready to face the general public. Wish me luck out there!

~Mere

My gun show pic from Feb. 29th har har.

It seems crazy to me that I’ve reached this point in my countdown. Only 39 more days until I walk out on stage and put all my hard work on the line for the judges. The more the days slip by, the more focused I feel I am, and the more dedicated I am to my end goal. I sent in my competition entry form, I got my stage heels, I’ve been tanning and today in my email there was a notification from Waterbabies that my bikini had shipped. I cannot wait to get my bikini, I feel like it’s one of the last pieces of this whole puzzle. I just want to see it, see what the materials and connectors look like, and of course how it fits and looks on me!

The only negative right now is that I am tired. So bloody tired. For the past few days I’ve felt like I’m in desperate need of a nap, but if I try to lie down for one I just… lie there. At night I don’t sleep very well and it never feels like enough sleep. I am simply exhausted and I don’t understand why. I try to space my meals out so I’m not going too long without food or a protein shake. I’m not sure what’s going on but I just need to shake this feeling! I hate it! I keep meaning to write a blog post or do simple things and I can’t even muster up the energy to do it. I know it sounds ridiculous but someone out there must be able to relate to how I’m feeling.

I just spaced out at the keyboard here for a solid couple minutes. Trying to figure out what to write down next. Yikes. This is the mental and physical state I’m in lately and it’s not pleasant. I feel bad for my husband who is always cheerful and has had to deal with me over this last little while (I love you so much and am so grateful for your tolerance and undying support). Possibly not helping my case lately is an increased workload, since there’s been some turnover at my day job. After the accident, when I did return to work, I was on very reduced hours since my knee doesn’t do well with standing on a hard floor for extended periods. My knee is much better now, but it still tires me out. At this point I’m probably just whining. Fine, I am whining.

Random thought, I miss my parents a little right now. They’re around, but I’ve been so busy with work and the gym that I feel like it’s been ages since we just hung out together. My mom has called me a few times and I’ve been on the treadmill or at work and I can’t talk much. My parents and I are close and I feel guilty about not being over there much lately or spending enough time with them. My birthday was this past weekend, and even then I only spent a few minutes at their place. I noticed birthdays revolve around food, so when you can’t eat cake or an extravagant birthday meal, there’s not much point in ‘celebrating’ with the family. Hopefully I can find the time soon to go thrift store shopping with my mom or take a day trip to look at antiques again.

Pardon this post for being a little ‘down’. I’m just in a zombie-like state and I need to break out of it! This morning I woke up almost in a panic after I dreamed I was binging on cake. I’m so obsessed with my calorie intake it’s taking over my dreams. Also, I really miss fruit. Cannot wait to eat fruit again. And yogurt. Pathetic when you start craving fruit and yogurt! And since I’ve broken down to talking about how great yogurt is, I’m going to end this thing right here. I’ll be back when I can write a little more coherently without the thought of delicious apples and bananas throwing me completely off track, or a fog of exhaustion hanging over me.

Cheers,

-Zombie Mere

My sweaty after-cardio changeroom mirror pic, Feb. 22nd

This coming Saturday will be the halfway point in my competitive fitness journey. Today, I ordered my show bikini which is very exciting for me! I put together a custom design and the price was actually very reasonable, considering I had been looking at bikinis for 3x the amount I paid. I ordered it from Water Babies Bikinis and I will definitely post a review once I get it, for those who are interested! I also ordered a pair of clear 5″ heels on eBay, since there’s nowhere to buy them in our area. Fingers crossed that they fit properly.

When I woke up this morning, I went to weigh myself and look at my body in the mirror to see if I noticed any progress. It’s incredibly difficult for me to see any change in my physique, but this morning I could have sworn I’m on the verge of having some ab definition! This is huge for me! I’ve been on the pudgy side for most of my life, and even when I’ve slimmed down I’ve never had any muscle definition whatsoever. Hopefully I’m not just dreaming this up and I’ll see more progress soon. Now, if the scale would just break past this annoying plateau…

Anyways, enough about that business. On to my rant! Hooray… the good part!

My husband and I had the Mustang out today to bring it in for an e-test. We had some time to kill before our appointment at the shop, so we went to visit a friend in town who owns a small business. A guy who owns a shop down from our friend was there when we arrived, also visiting. We walk in, sit down, chatting away… and somehow the conversation turns to tipping people in certain professions, and how this guy (not our friend, but this other dude) never tips hairdressers, servers, anyone (he is notoriously cheap, to the extreme).

This dude then claims that society has been conditioned to tip these people, and that people who tip are ‘sheep’ for doing so. He goes on to say that people working as wait staff should have went to school, got a better job, etc, it’s not his fault they chose this profession… why should he tip them?

I was so unbelievably annoyed at this point. I know and have known many people who work as servers, who have college and university educations, and may be working at a restaurant for a second income or until they find a place in their field. I also believe that tipping for good service is a must! We always make a point to tip generously when we get great service. Servers make a lower minimum wage and depend on receiving tips… I think this is all pretty much common knowledge among us ‘sheep’.

SO… I listened to this utter bullshit for a minute, then took my stand.

“I’d much rather be a sheep and tip people than be a total dick.”

This dude then proceeds to try and come back with some weak response which I don’t even think I listened to, because I can’t even remember what it was. I simply reiterated my original point, about not being a fucking DICK.

Silence. Everyone else in the placed laughed their ass off at him getting called out.

I win, asshole. You’re a dick. Congratulations.

There was a time when I would have been passive and let this slide, not said anything, kept to myself. No more. I have found my spine and learned that I have strength in my voice. I was chased out of the first college I attended because I didn’t have the courage to stand up for myself. As I said, no more. Moral of the story… stand up for whatever you believe is right, and most importantly for yourself. I’ll stand behind you.

~Mere

Ho-lee shit the weather is amazing today, just as it was yesterday. The sun is beaming down and actually has warmth to it’s rays. The sky is flecked with clouds but not enough to block the flood of sunlight. I opened a bunch of windows in the house today, even though it’s a tad chilly (and I’ve just noticed the furnace came on which is counter productive haha!) because I want to freshen the place up. It gets stale feeling in here after having everything closed up all winter, especially with a giant dog running around inside.

I’m just waiting on my parents to call and confirm our McDonald’s coffee request. They’re supposed to be here in the next 20 minutes or so. We’re having a family day, heading out to L&K Antique Mall in Tilbury. I love the place. It takes over an hour to wander around the place slowly, hoping you’re not missing anything the whole time you’re looking. We go every 6 months or so, to give the inventory some time to cycle out. I rarely find any jars, keys or lightning rod balls there because, like most antique dealers, they tend to overprice these items. People seem to have delusions of grandeur when it comes to the fruit jars especially. But… it’s still fun to look, right?

This past week has been pretty good! Yesterday I had my first posing session at the gym with my coach, WBFF Figure Pro Emily Stirling. Myself and 3 other girls practiced walking, turning and posing in our 5″ heels. Emily is so fluid on her heels, it’s really incredible to watch her move. I am quite blessed to be able to work with someone who is so experienced and just an all around awesome person. Holding some of the poses is so intense that your muscles start to shake after a few minutes. It’s very involved and I’m to practice walking and posing in my heels daily from here on out. Wearing the heels and holding myself in the poses made me feel amazing though, as silly as it may sound. I still have a long way to go in the 9 weeks that are remaining until the competition. I doubt myself often, I feel I should be further along, I feel like I don’t look good enough… but I am sure these are feelings that all competitors experience! I also imagine it’s worse for me since this is my first time trying this sort of thing.

Well, I just got the phone call from my mom asking what kind of coffee we want, so that means they will be here in 15 minutes or less. I need to prod Brendan into getting in the shower and getting his butt in gear. For once in my life, I’m actually ready before him. Mark your calendars people. I’ll share a few photos from the past week before I jet.

Cheers,

~Mere

My progress picture from Saturday, Feb.4th

Temporary heels. Need to buy an all clear pair.

Sunrise on my road. Stopped the car to take this with my phone.

Hemi, with her own drool coaster, enjoying a card game.